


Starting Now

by ellekim94



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 21:18:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18836965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellekim94/pseuds/ellekim94
Summary: After Sarada finds out the truth, she knows Sasuke deserves better.





	Starting Now

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired from Xenxa's "Can't Handle the Truth" which I loved, I adored, and as mentioned, I got inspired with. I can't exactly explain how much that story sort of saved me from the clutter I'd become because of the canon ending ;-; This is kind of a sequel I wrote from that story and thank you, Xenxa, for saying it's okay for me to post my version of self-indulgent fic to help me move on inspired from your story. *hugs*
> 
> I still don't know how links work here so here's a direct URL of Xenxa's fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4052374?view_adult=true (I highly recommend reading it, for those who are still shattered with how the canon ended)
> 
> Now, I know I tagged Sasuke x Sakura but I only tagged them because of their canon relationship that's a huge part in this story. For all SasuSaku shippers, this isn't a happy fic about them, so you're welcome to turn back right now. If you're going to complain about fags at the end after reading this, please just don't.

“Dad told me everything.”

Sakura froze, as if she had been standing in the middle of a blizzard and she couldn’t move her feet to get away fast enough for it not to kill her. She looked at Sarada and wished she didn’t. She wanted to see the hurt in her daughter’s eyes but she wasn’t ready for the disgust. She thought she prepared herself for this but her stomach still turned, willing her to throw up everything that would make her feel ashamed under her daughter’s gaze.

She found herself laughing, trying to look confident in her actions and decisions that had brought them exactly where they were even though there was a part in her that was quite certain she already lost her daughter long ago even before she gave birth to her.

When she did what she did.

There was a part of her that knew exactly this was bound to happen one way or another. It didn’t make it easier. “He didn’t tell you he lost, did he? I’m the most beautiful girl in the village after all,” she mocked, laughing, even though there was a part of her that hurt when she said that. It was a realization once again that despite that, Sasuke never looked at her differently than the rest of the girls in the village.

Sarada’s eyes widened and her head physically hurt from what she heard from her own mother’s mouth. For a moment, she only stood there and stare at the woman who was laughing in front of her, disbelieving to the fact that this woman was the one she calls mother. “Are you hearing yourself, Mom?” she finally asked, and she wanted to voice to remain calm, but it came out as a gasp. “Do you hear yourself? Are you seriously saying that?”

She didn’t give Sakura a chance to speak because she didn’t want to hear anything anymore. She didn’t want to lose the last drops of respect she felt for her mother despite everything she already knew. Ever since she spoke with her father, she felt like there was a time glass with her mother and the trickle of it was only getting faster as Sakura spoke.

“Mom, you violated Dad,” Sarada told her, plainly, as if to make things clear from the mud that was her mother, regaining the calm and composure she lost just seconds ago. “You drugged him. You literally climbed on top of him when he couldn’t move because of the drugs you made him take.” She paused, watching the display of emotions in her mother’s face, knowing she couldn’t feign confidence, or innocence, anymore. “Do you want me to say it, Mom?” she continued because she wasn’t done yet. It painfully hurt her that she was doing this but she was afraid if she didn’t say everything now, it wouldn’t be said ever. Her father deserved better. Her father deserved more than this. But she also knew, her feelings of righteousness had more to do with herself than her father. She was making up for her mother taking his father’s life away from him.

She was making up for taking his father’s life away from him.

“You raped Dad.” The last drops of water fell from the time glass as Sakura fell on her knees, breaking down, as she remembered exactly everything that happened that night, while Sarada looked at her mother, eyes devoid of any emotion except pity. If she was going to be honest, she couldn’t completely hate her mother. She couldn’t. In her mind, she was still that woman who gave birth to her, who protected her when she was nothing but a child, who supported her, who cared for her, who loved her with all she had. But as much as Sakura was her mother, Sasuke was also her father. And she couldn’t explain what she felt but hatred with what her mother did to him.

Despite that, she knew better than going back to the past. She knew better than allowing herself to wallow on the facts that had happened in the past, knowing full well that even the most dangerous techniques would only do worse than better in changing the past. Because in reality, even in their world, there was no changing the past. There was only acceptance and moving forward in the present to be able to hope and dream again for the future.

It was always easier said than done though. But she would have try.

Sarada turned her back on Sakura and not even glancing once, she left the place she believed could be her only home.

-

“How could you tell her?” Sakura demanded, running to hit Sasuke, because that’s all she could really do right now. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying all night, her hands were trembling, and her mind was only focused on one thing. That Sasuke took Sarada away from her.

He dodged her easily. It would take her no less than three thousand years before she could land a hit on Sasuke, if he was serious, which he was. He wouldn’t let her touch him again. It was actually taking all of him not to hit her back, to entail the equivalent pain he has been carrying on him since thirteen years ago, when he learned what she did to him and when there was nothing he could do about it, and to stand there in her presence, demanding why he told their daughter what he told her.

“How could I tell her what? The truth?” Sasuke found himself scoffing. It was almost hilarious, seeing Sakura at that state. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually made an effort to look at her. In the last thirteen years, he made it a point never to cross paths with her because if he had, he might have done something he would regret. He didn’t want to be banished after all. After everything Naruto did for him. He was supposed to be one of the Hokage’s guards and he would rather die than dishonor the name of the person who saved him.

Sakura couldn’t stop crying but she couldn’t find it within herself to regret what she did. He became her husband after all. It wasn’t regret but rather, sadness, disappointment that this could be all she was to Sasuke. That even though she was the woman who bore his child, he wouldn’t change his mind. That his heart had and would always belong to someone else. The tears won’t stop when images of Sarada flashed on her head.

Because she knew, Sarada didn’t do anything wrong. She was the direct result of the mistake that would haunt her for the rest of her life. And Sakura knew that it would haunt Sarada, too. Perhaps that was the only thing she regrets.

“Sarada ran away,” Sakura sobbed, looking at Sasuke straightly for the first time since he agreed to talk to her. She could still see the despise in his usually emotionless face but it was something she had to look at now. Thirteen years had already passed without anything happening to them. She knew, at the very least, that he wouldn’t kill her.

-

Running away was an overstatement and an exaggeration and Sarada wasn’t sure if her mother told her father that because she still wanted to make something out of this ugly chapter in their lives. She was pretty certain that if her father wanted to, he would still be able to find her despite the genjutsu she put herself into. It was an escape, she would suppose, because there wasn’t exactly a place for her to go and she didn’t want to see her mother right now, of all people.

However, she also didn’t think she’d be seeing the Seventh as well, breaking her genjutsu of a home far away from the village, a river running by the side and covered by the mountains. Suddenly, she was back at the mountain of the village, sitting right above the Fourth’s head.

“That’s quite a beautiful view,” Naruto told her, smiling gently.

Sarada didn’t respond. She knew it was a beautiful view because she was the one who made it. She also knew that the Seventh wouldn’t come here to commend her for her genjutsu. She studied the face of the most powerful person in the village and how none of the danger she supposed it poised showed as she looked back at him.

Looking at Naruto, she knew he was the person her father trusts the most, the person her father would lay his life for, not only as his guard but also as his friend as well. She knew what had transpired in the past between her father and the Seventh. She had seen everything. It was one of her favorite techniques and also one of her least. It allowed her to look back, take a glimpse of what happened in the past, but of course, not be able to change anything. It was like reading a history book, except she was witnessing everything. She loved and hated how people always change but the memories don’t. And there’s nothing she could do about it because there’s nothing to be done about it.

She realized her father was his own person. As her mother was. She was the fruit of a love that had been greedy and the kindness of letting an innocent child be born. It had been thirteen years. It would have been easier to blame her mother but blaming her won’t change anything. She’d still be the unwanted reminder of her father of that night. And there was nothing she could do about that, unfortunately.

“I needed to get away, sir,” Sarada finally spoke, honestly, smiling back at Naruto, hoping she was returning the same gentleness that was clear in the older man’s face.

He had seemed surprised at the sudden admission but he didn’t show it too much, simply nodding at it, as if he knew exactly what she was talking about, which he did. Sasuke had told him everything right after he had gone to talk to Sakura. There was an unusual concern stretched on his face as he told the blonde that his daughter had ran away.

Apparently, she didn’t. Naruto had smiled in relief when he was the one who found Sarada on top of his father’s head, trapped by herself in an illusion of a home far away from the village.

“Sir, can I ask you something?” she asked after a long, peaceful moment of silence. When he looked at her and waited, she took it as a permission and asked, “My father is a good man, isn’t he?” There was a contented smile at the end of the question that it was almost like a statement. She looked up at the dark sky and saw the moon peeking from the clouds.

It wasn’t all darkness. It couldn’t be.

Naruto still found himself answering, turning to look at the sky, too. “Yes,” he quietly said. “Yes, he is.”

-

The blonde opened the door to his apartment, aware of the familiar presence already inside. Sometimes, when it was too late, he would stay at his old apartment instead of coming home. It game him peace to freely think about some things. It was only a little before midnight but strangely, unlike other days, he didn’t feel as exhausted as he should. Removing his cape, he didn’t need to turn on the lights to know where Sasuke was standing. He simply walked towards him and stopped, a couple of feet away from him, looking far at where the dark-haired was gazing upon.

“You found her first, didn’t you?” Naruto knew it was a yes but he still asked because he knew the other would not say it and even though he knew the other would not admit it. He sighed, leaning at his window sill. Sarada had already left the mountain even before him but he understood why Sasuke was still there, looking. “She’s a good kid, Sasuke.”

Sasuke simply nodded, finally looking away from the mountain to meet the eyes of the man beside him.

“And you’re a good man,” Naruto finished, making sure the other would know exactly what he meant. There was a flicker of emotion in Sasuke’s face before he looked down, hiding a small smile, and moving to leave. “You could stay, you know.”

“I know,” the dark-haired replied, but not looking back. “But there’s something I need to do first.”

He didn’t need to ask anything anymore as Sasuke suddenly disappeared at the darkness of his place dimmed only by the light coming from the moon. He sighed, exhaust slowly seeping in his mind and body, but deciding a shower would be best before going to sleep.

He knew that Sasuke knew, besides the genjutsu, there was nowhere Sarada could go.

The following morning, he woke up to Sasuke looking far at the mountains again, even before dawn. Without even looking to see if he was up, the dark-haired said, “This is the best view.”

Naruto smiled, standing up to his window sill again to join his friend. “I know.”

-

It was inevitable to see each other again but it was something Sarada had hoped would not happen too quickly. She had just been coping with the fact that she was born because her mother violated her father. After thirteen years, she had only started living by herself, cooking for herself, taking care of herself. There were a lot things she still need to learn but not looking at her father with longing would have to wait.

“Did you just come back from or are you going to a mission?” she asked, hoping her voice didn’t sound too weak, or too sad, or too thrilled. Her father didn’t have to know she felt all that when she saw him again.

“Going.”

“Right,” she nodded, knowing her father hold no obligation in answering her questions. She was only delaying him, which she really shouldn’t, because her father’s mission could have something to do with the Hokage, and she couldn’t stand in his, or their, way. She could only continue nodding, completely lost for words to say, until she broke into the brightest smile she could muster and said, “Take care then… Dad.”

Sarada was about to go ahead when she heard Sasuke said. “I don’t hate you, Sarada.”

It came like a meteorite at her, too quick and too soon for her to prepare herself, but taking damage because it hit. She supposed there was a part in her that largely expected Sasuke to hate her. She was a visible, living reminder that Sasuke had been taken advantage of. It would never be a pleasant reminder as long as she lives. But there was also that little part in her, the one that she wanted to hide because she could be wrong, that hoped Sasuke didn’t hate her.

However, she wouldn’t ask for more. It was enough for her to know that her father didn’t hate her. She could live with just that. She wouldn’t ask for anything anymore. She gave her father a small smile, pushing the frame of her glasses from the bridge of her nose. “You don’t have to love me either, Dad,” she told him and at the end of that was a silent thank you.

Sasuke’s eyes briefly showed something similar to warmth before it was gone again. He looked at his daughter and studied her expression, wondering if there was hint of animosity in her words, and finding none. He thought she was just like him but wiser. She would not be making the same mistakes he did in the past.

“But you could other people.”

She knew it was not a permission. Her father didn’t need to ask her anything after all. But she felt it was something she had to say to him, that only she could say to him. She wouldn’t hold him back anymore and she wouldn’t let her mother hold him back anymore as well. He had given her life and that was all the mattered. Now it’s her turn to give him back his.

Starting now.

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly focused on the fact that Sasuke and Naruto became bad fathers lol ;-; Kidding aside, this story was focused on the fact that Sasuke and Sakura got married, had a kid, but didn’t see his child for like, twelve years? Although there are still a lot of things I'd like to write on about. Like the fact that Naruto was also married to Hinata and had kids, too. And Sasuke and Naruto's relationship as well (which isn't really nothing more than a platonic friendship at this point but also may be the most important relationship in their lives and which I don't really want to end up as an affair lol) ;-; I may write something in the future about those as well in the similar universe.
> 
> If you came this far, thank you.


End file.
